Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
