i just wanna soil my oats bro
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
