Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
