don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
