God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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