I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
