i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
