You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just sucked dick on a ferry
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
