Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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