I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
