Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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