After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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