he told me I talked like a deaf person
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
