we're blogging at a bar
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
