Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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