Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
