next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
