wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
