they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
