Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
