puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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