So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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