I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
