what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
