In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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