I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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