a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The air taste purple.
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