New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
sex in a hospital.. check
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
