so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
