i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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