My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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