Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
