why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
