I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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