I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
