I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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