i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
