i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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