It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
