This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
