is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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