Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
