I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
