Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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