I think my fart just growled at me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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