For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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