somebody snuck up and got me drunk
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize