They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
