About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
