I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
