Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
