I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
