whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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