WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
