I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize