i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
high people should be assigned attendants
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
