Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
