i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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